i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
