i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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