My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
