im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
