Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
