I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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