mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
