remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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