His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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