You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need moral support for this bender
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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