It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
