I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
