nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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