in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
did you just send me my own nude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
