Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
