:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
