My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
