When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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