I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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