This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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