I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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