it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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