he puts the penis in happiness.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize