I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need water and some morals
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