New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
