the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
