she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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