That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music