I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
