My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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