Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize