The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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