The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
