Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
