Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
