So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
