i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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