then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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