New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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