I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
