Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
