I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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