i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
