Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
