I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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