Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize