Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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