so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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