i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
