I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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