i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
