I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
