Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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