Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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