It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
