My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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